Blush My Soul

my corkscrew has done the most work it has done in years. opening a sweet bottle of Llanno Estacado Blush, i cant believe its finally happened. it took me a second to notice, the shrine pyramid of Budwieser in the sale isle of the grocery store. i literally stood there for minutes staring upon this foriegn red box, like my brain really needed that extra time to process what exactly was in front of me. and when i did realize what this distant object was, my mind awoke.
its happened, its finally happened. this great place of west texas has finally taken one step into the current melinium. i even saw my first wine and beer corner store on my drive home, its amazing how long people have been waiting for this.
so now i sit here, part in celebration, part in releasing some of my weeks stress, and sip on my favorite local pink wine.
its hard to recall how i got here, in this city if you will call it that, in the first place. i know i know, it had something to do with a boy, but what did i think i wanted here for myself? i dont think i was really thinking about it at all.
i try so hard to exhaust all my possibilities of life here. ive got a job i really enjoy for money, i love the major im in, i try as much as possible to utilize everything i have here at this school. besides that its still really hard to get through just a day. not only am i exhausted, but my mind drags the whole day.       
                  "why are you here, what are you doing...you could be so much happier somewhere else"
but, i must drag on. i remind myself 220 days...you can be out of here in 220 days...and not only out of here, but out of here with a degree..............its the only thing that keeps me around here these days. because with out that one paper i would be out of here, id be driving across the nation, trekking every inch of soil. or better yet in some country somewhere else, where i do not know anyone or anything. a life of a nomad, that's where id be. but its that one paper, that little, small, very very very expensive, little paper that keeps me chained to this city.....................at least for another 220 days.